I Called Home to Talk About School

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My fear of vulnerability results in my hiding of emotions such as loneliness, anger, love, and sadness. With this work I aimed to name, confront, and express these emotions so as to allow others to better understand me and my uncertainties. My work shows strong emotion but is otherwise ambiguous in its structure and meaning. I enjoy the tension that this creates. Although personal, through the use of my face and individual feelings, my work is also relatable, as the idea can be understood from a multitude of perspectives. I experimented with different weaving patterns and materials in a less controlled, loose fashion, even introducing some sculptural elements within the weave. I specifically looked into the works of Louise Noguchi, who also uses different weave patterns in her portraits, which encouraged me to further experiment with weaves. Vellum was used as a means of exploring the idea of transparency within my work, mirroring the transparency I am also striving for emotionally. The primary focus of this work was the journey of introspection and not necessarily the aesthetics of creation. This allowed for more experimentation, creation, and acknowledgement of emotions which was refreshingly cathartic. This process of putting less pressure on the end result and allowing more focus on the journey, afforded me the opportunity to be engaged, vulnerable, and open with my feelings which were subsequently reflected in my work. I used the work as a diary of sorts, expressing vulnerable emotions from which I had previously shied away. These written words, although frightening, are also empowering in their shameless honest depiction of strong emotions bared open for all viewers to see. I used layering, textures, and carvings to create worked surfaces that demonstrate my process of acknowledging my vulnerability. I created works that I deconstructed and subsequently reconstructed to allow the process of creation to add to the meaning of the final piece. This process was taxing and stressful, but I believe that the care and labour that went into the arrangement of materials adds a powerful story to the physical piece. The process painstakingly reflects the extent of the emotional toll. The portraits are large. They take up space. They demand to be acknowledged.

Where it's been: GRADEX 107 at OCAD University